Header picture - evenings are drawing in: lake just outside Ørsdalen
Photo 4 October. Full picture here.

5 October - Congratulations to Bob and Pat on their new home!

Here at the old place, the same routines take place as regular as clockwork. Even though the weather is still extraordinary — beautiful sunshine and temperatures well into double figures — we're aware that winter has to arrive before long and we need to be well prepared with firewood. Hopefully all the storage will be filled before it's needed. Just to give an idea — the cages you can see on the picture are 12 feet tall, 7 feet wide and nearly 6 feet deep, so each one fit a lot of logs. Who needs a gym?

While weather records are being broken like never before — it's been the warmest September pretty much since records began, every day the temperature has been above average for the time of year, there were more days above 20° than in any previous September, etc., etc. — life in Norway continues so uneventfully that even the Prime Minister has nothing more urgent to do in parliament than to play games on her mobile.

Comments joanna - October 7th, 2016 Your PM playing Pokemon made to our news! Also the steel wall across border with Russia! Tim - October 8th, 2016 Norway's amazing contribution to world news!

13 October - Taking a few days away on an autumn break, we went exploring north-German villages today: mile after mile of (mostly cobbled) lanes with just the occasional little village or isolated church (photos, right).

15 October - It was a dark and stormy night. We were looking for our hotel in Denmark on the way home after a pleasant half-term trip. Normally we don't stay in Denmark at all — from past experience, hotels on the German side of the border are half the price and twice the quality. This time, though, we wanted to catch an early ferry from Hirtshals. And after all, we surely can't possibly have bad experiences all the time. So we booked a hotel near Århus in the hope of finding somewhere that can become a regular stopover place. When we turned up there was a certain amount of confusion; they'd written the date down wrong and weren't actually expecting us until the next day. Happily, though, they found us a room — which turned out to be just large enough to fit us and a small shoebox as well. In all fairness, leaning on the walls might well have made us more space; at any rate, the walls were thin enough for this to have created an opening into the next room. Not downhearted, we ventured into the nearest village for dinner in a Chinese restaurant, which had an almost-Oriental decor. The loudspeaker was playing the theme tune to the Deer Hunter film, performed on a Chinese banjo. They asked us to keep our knives and forks between courses to save washing up, and as we were eating our last mouthfuls (the food was pretty good, actually) the staff were putting their coats and scarves on and experimentally turning off lights by the door, as though to pass the time. We took the hint and headed back to the hotel. During the night we heard what sounded like cries for help coming from nearby, so I went out into the stormy and rain-splattered half-light for a look around, but couldn't see anything. There's been nothing on the news, so either the body's not been discovered yet or it was just a claustrophobic guest suffering in another room. So we're still looking for that regular stopover place in Denmark!

Returned in time for Sunday services and a busy week to come. Just before we left, Tracy's car decided that it had had enough of life on the roads between Ørsdalen and Sandnes. Given that we no longer have two large dogs (or any dogs at all, come to that) and we no longer ferry so many children around, it was possible to scale down a little. So this time, Tracy has gone for something completely different and is very pleased with it so far.

Comments joanna - October 18th, 2016 Smart new wheels Tracy. Enjoy them! Try not to take off over rough roads! Tracy - October 18th, 2016 Thank you Joanna, I am loving it so far. I trust we will share many happy miles.

23 October - This winter's first snowfall caught us by surprise when we got up this morning. Although for an average year it's a little overdue, the autumn has been so warm so far that I've not even changed the tyres on the cars yet. So far it was just the lightest sprinkling, but more will come so I must get on with it soon.

26 October - "Just let me know when you want to change the wheels on Mum's car", offered Matt generously; "I'll pick it up and hold it upside down while you take them off". As you can imagine, this remark earned him an icey stare from the car's owner, but the size of Tracy's mini has been the subject of many remarks.

Parking is always a bit of a problem in Sandnes, but happily both Tracy and Tim have parking places at their respective churches. Tracy's is in the little alleyway that leads between two buildings to the front door of her church. Her old car used to more or less fill the space, but her new mini (without making comments about its size) tucks in the corner so economically that Tim's car fits in front of it without putting so much as a wheel on the pavement. The other day, though, we arrived in Sandnes to find an unknown car pulled into Tracy's parking spot. No owner was in sight. There was nothing for it but for Tracy to park in front of it, blocking it in. The owner could after all come to her office in the church and, given sufficient grovelling, would be let out. The trouble was, the owner didn't turn up and we had to go out (on foot) for a couple of hours, without any possibility of getting back to let the other car out when it wanted to leave. We expected trouble on our return. As we walked towards Norkirken we looked out for a frantic car owner with ears steaming, but no-one was in sight. The unknown car was also not in sight. The only conclusion we could come to was that the unknown owner had collected a friend or two and lifted Tracy's mini out of the way, moved his car and then lifted it back into place. Still no size-related comments, please.

Comments joanna - October 27th, 2016 By our forecast it looks as if you might need those winter tyres by the end of the week!! There is a chunk of white stuff over Norway!! Tim - November 2nd, 2016 No sign of that white stuff yet, though the weather forecast is moving into blue numbers over the next couple of days. Still, better get on with those wheels! Tim - November 4th, 2016 The white stuff arrived today. Have quickly changed the tyres on both cars (photo of Matt helping, right)!

1 November - Tuesday is Tim's long day at work, with a full day's activities ending with three consecutive choir practices in the evening. The first of these is our "Mini Gospel" for pre-school children. A few songs, some games and a bible story. The bible story is normally presented by the Rural Dean (not out of any claim to biblical seniority; just that he's really good at engaging 4-year-olds), but this evening the Rural Dean was on holiday in Spain (refusing the freely offered services of an organist) so I (Tim) ended up doing the story. The Rural Dean is working his way through the Old Testament and had finished last week with the birth and nautical exploits of the young Moses. So I had to pick up from the burning bush, relating this unfamiliar story to a bunch of pre-schoolers for whom it would surely be way over their heads. I said that Moses (like many people in the world today) had to live in another country because it wasn't safe for him in his own land, and got a job there as a shepherd. While out with his sheep he encountered this burning bush and heard God telling him to go and lead his people into a safer country. So Moses came up with three excuses.
(1) "Who should I say sent me?" - "I am who I am", says God.
I felt that this was starting to get a bit esoteric for 4-year-olds, most of whom surely had not the faintest idea what I was talking about anyway. So I thought I'd better try to get them involved, somehow or other, with the next excuse.
(2) "What if they don't believe me?" - God gives Moses a stick, and what do you think he tells Moses to do with it?
As soon as I asked the question I could have kicked myself. How do you say to a 4-year-old Mini-Gospel child: "No, we don't do that sort of thing with sticks; go and stand in the corner"? But before I could un-ask my question, an angelic but slightly dopey-looking tiny girl in the front row spoke up.
"God thaid, throw your thtick on the ground and it will turn into a thnake; then take it to Tharaoh and do the thame thing there".
As I was saying, it never does to underestimate these kids.

5 November - According to today's NRK news page, the Met office has forecast a storm — of laughter in The North. The reason is that the first real snow of the year — that annual snowfall that makes people like me realise that now they really do need to get on with changing over those wheels — fell yesterday in and around Oslo, generating not only delays and accidents but something approaching the kind of national crisis we more normally expect when it snows in London. And there's nothing better than a good excuse to poke fun southwards: a cartoon shows genuine (more northerly) Norwegians offering both prayers and snow clearers to the poor southern softies. It's all strange, though, because snow has always fallen in and around Oslo and I don't remember it being a problem years ago. But then, things are changing even in Norway. I noticed some festively-fancy lights up this week at the shopping centre in Sandnes, and Christmas marzipan on sale in the petrol station, where until very recently no-one would dream of contemplating anything remotely Christmassy until Advent, at least. I'd better get out and split some logs before I embark on a curmudgeonly it-used-to-be-done-properly-in-the-old-days grumble.

7 November - Our "white stuff" is persisting — the roads are icey and snowy enough in places to feel the benefits of the winter tyres — and Ørsdalen is enjoying -3°– -10°, blue skies and the sun glinting enthusiastically off snow-covered mountains. All as it should be. Further east, the Østerdalen valley (such as Os, for those of you who visited us during our chilly winter there in the beginning of the '90s) reported -30° this morning, which makes us rather glad to be near the warmer west coast. Heading even further east; as we've said many times before, nothing creates greater pleasure in Norway than when someone in Sweden does something really stupid. The reverse is also true, by the way. So this picture (right; click for enlargement) is in all the Norwegian newspapers today. Perfectly ordinary bit of road clearing? Not quite — check which way the lamp posts are facing. The snow-plough driver has managed to clear a beautiful road across a row of lawns, while leaving the actual road under its blanket of snow. The Norwegian press is in ecstacies, but the Swedish press is saying: "It looks like they've employed a Norwegian driver".

Comments Jon - November 7th, 2016 Sorry to hear you southern softies have got all the good snow. I wonder if the Swedish press have picked up the story about the police driver facing a ban after driving his police van with summer tires? UPDATE. The police man gets to keep his driving license. This is probably to prevent the Swedes getting excited. Tim - November 7th, 2016 Indeed, an excited Swede just doesn't bear thinking about. Hope you're bearing up in the hardy North.

9 November - Heading out with the car for its MOT (it did fine, by the way) I noticed that the lakes are now half-way frozen over (photo, left - click for enlargement) and there is some bustle around the ski centre as it starts to get ready for the season. That's the day's important news here. As for that overseas news ... Really?

This means that we're busy burning our way through the winter's firewood — though we've now got a good stock laid in for the winter.

12 November - Within hours of that overseas news that we didn't bother commenting on (no, really?), an enterprising Norwegian local authority had put up a website aimed at Americans, containing a big red button marked "Emigrate Now". Local mayor Lars outlines his "Larshall Plan", while Per describes the free health service under the heading "Per care". Apparently, ten families have already expressed serious interest, including a surgeon who's already been offered a job at the hospital.

14 November - On 5 November (above) we had a little grumble about signs of Christmas arriving far too early. Today we see proof of this in the shape of this police report and update from Narvik.
The first report reads:
"White 17-foot boat with red cabin observed drifting [in the sea] near the Beisfjord Bridge, drifting inwards. No persons observed"
The updated report reads:
"The boat observation turns out to be a large [inflatable] Father Christmas that had blown into the sea from Europris".
We rest our case.

16 November - Katie and I joined two friends, Leif and Peter, for the "pub quiz" at the petrol station in Vikeså. Despite some flashes of genius (it had to be Katie who knew the name of a Japanese martial art that involves blindfolded people avoiding being hit over the head with a stick, while only Tim knew that the River Tom was in Russia) we achieved on this occasion a fairly ignominious result. But never mind. It's good to have room for improvement.

18 November - The "white stuff" of which Joanna was warning us is now coming thick and fast; the road out of the valley was wearing its winter colours properly this morning. Not so deep as yet, but a sign of things to come!

Comments joanna - November 18th, 2016 Just make sure you don't get any Swedes clearing your roads!!! Tim - November 19th, 2016 Absolutely! (see photo, right - click for enlargement) joanna - November 19th, 2016 Whats happened to the driver? and did the messages get emptied!! Love the picture! [see next entry] Tim - November 19th, 2016 I gather the driver just woke up one morning and found he'd turned into a swede ... Messages all gone, thanks. Must remember to keep that vacuum cleaner away from the computer, though!

19 November - "Now, how do you empty the messages out of this new phone?"

Comments Jon - November 19th, 2016 Is Tracy trying to empty messages, or is it that Katie's guinea pig is hiding inside (doubtless tempted by the promise of apples printed on the phone cover). Tim - November 20th, 2016 Well, SMS does stand for "Small Marsupial System", doesn't it? joanna - November 20th, 2016 Your cracks get worse Tim and Jon!!! Tracy - November 21st, 2016 I totally agree with you Joanna. Has Tim mentioned on here that he vacuumed up a mouse on Sat am? I was just giving it some megabites in case it was hungry! Tim - November 21st, 2016 I didn't mention the mouse (especially when Jon's comment was so close!) in case the RSPCM got called in. The story was that our resident stoat seems to be taking a holiday and I ended up chasing a mouse around the kitchen, blocking off its exits with anything to hand (like a mousetrap and the vacuum cleaner) and it obviously thought: "that's a handy hole" because there was a sudden blurpy noise from the hoover and no more mouse. Guinea pigs, though, might just block the system - they can just stay in the phone, I think.

20 November - Continuing, for a moment, the topic of Christmas arriving early, Tim has been invited to what is apparently the year's jolly Christmas-party highlight: the undertakers' Christmas do, which is held, incidentally, at the cheese factory in the local, colourfully-named village of Julebygda (which literally translates as "Christmas Village", although no-one knows how it got its name and it probably has nothing to do with Christmas at all). Just in case this tale hasn't had enough bizarre twists, if — like me — you look up the obvious website www.julebygda.no to learn the story of how the village got its name, you will find yourself instead at the website of the village shop, which is part of the "Joker" chain. Make of it all what you will.

21 November - Happy birthday to Thomas Andrew!

24 November - I (Tim) am sitting in a pub waiting for my dinner. In the bar, which is pleasantly full of old photos of local places and people, along with historical nick-nacks, there's a substantial group of locals with a good few beers on board (to judge by the glasses), singing very loudly. They're singing "Stille Nacht, heilige Nacht" in harmony — and when they get out of tune (which they have done a couple of times) they stop and take that bit again. I'm in Thüringen (in connection with a concert, of course), so it's all perfectly normal.
Flew yesterday to Berlin and before driving southwards stopped off overnight close to "our" lakes, where I had a long walk this morning (photo, left - click for series). Most of the leaves are now on the ground, so the trees appear to be full of huge birds' nests. The lakes and rivers are now empty of kajaks and swimmers, but still look good!

Comments joanna - 25 November 2016 Hi Tim it all looks lovely but are you sure its big birds nests you saw, the deciduous tree looks to have bunches of Mistletoe in it. We see the same around here and even though I know they are there its still something of a surprise each autumn when they are visible again!! Tim - 25 November 2016 I think so — the photo I used was absolutely not the best picture of what I took to be nests (just a nicer tree picture), but this was the view from the window when I woke up in the morning. I think they're nests, but I didn't risk going underneath in case anyone started kissing me unexpectedly. joanna - November 26th, 2016 Still confused even by the second photo, Could be a Rookery but most of the 'nests' seem exceedingly flimsy and on very thin branches. Highly confusing!!! Tim - November 26th, 2016 German birds are light sleepers. joanna - November 26th, 2016 Just the sort of crack Bob would have made!!!

25 November - Spent the day practicing for tomorrow's concert in this church with its lovely Baroque organ.

26 November - After the concert (which went fine) our friends took me to the Christmas market in nearby Zwickau (photo, right - click for enlargement.

Comments Norah - November 27th, 2016 I have missed your news for the last few weeks & am a bit alarmed to hear the mice are back - although facing a dreadful fate in the vacuum cleaner. What about the owls? The German church looks beautiful & I am sure it was lovely & warm. St Mary's today was freezing! Tim - November 28th, 2016 It's a shame for those mice, really, who are just looking for a way in out of the cold. But given a choice between stoat or vacuum cleaner I'm not sure which they would go for. (Rather as we feel with some political elections.) Unlike in Norway, though, German churches do not offer much to their mice in terms of a way in out of the cold. They're not heated except during events, and even then you need to be well dressed. Luckily, the concert was lit by dozens of candles, which helped! There's a suggestion for St Mary's!

30 November - "The deer have been eating the flowers again", they were saying at one table. "And no sooner had we lowered him down then they said: 'No, we wanted him the other way round'", drifted over from another. "The sound system in the funeral chapel is ..." Yes, this was the undertakers' Christmas lunch. No cold meats here: it was a full Norwegian Christmas hot dinner, with desert and coffee. The churches' director held a short speech afterwards saying how much we all appreciated the annual bribe (his words) and then it was back to our respective churches. What does an undertakers' Christmas gathering look like? Photos here.