doings

April - May 2010

Guide to the perplexed. If you've always wondered how to pronounce "Ørsdalen", "Vikeså" and such like, you can now have a crash course here.

2 April. Hoisted on own petard. The more observant observed correctly that yesterday's webcam picture (this one) was dated 1 April. In fact we were just getting ready to congratulate the winner of the "snowsweep" who had predicted that the last of the snow would vanish fom the garden on 2 April at 10.15 am - and it looked for all the world as though he was going to be spot on (to within an hour or so). Got up this morning ready to go to the Good Friday service and found - this (webcam picture 2 April). Having changed the tyres on the car a week or two back we couldn't drive further than to a neighbour, whose Passat we borrowed to get to church. But the snow was deeper than the road clearance on the Passat so we had to turn back, come home, light the fire and put the coffee on instead. Ah well. Note to self. Be more careful what we joke about next 1 April.

3 April. First flowers in the garden. photo, right. Spring really is getting here!

5 April. Does this egg look like its owner? Click picture to see what's going on.

New member of the family (photo, right - click for enlargement). Thomas Andrew has a little lamb - a bottle lamb that he's adopted after spending a night helping with lambing at a nearby farm. It presently lives in the stables during the day and the downstairs bathroom at night (in the warm). The farmer provisionally named it Lambi, which is the name of a common brand of Norwegian toilet paper. This name will cease to be appropriate when it stops living in the bathroom at night, so we're just looking for a better name. Suggestions?

8 April. Update - Lambchops or whatever he's called is eating well and generally thriving.

"You coming out muckspreading?"
"Yeah, alright".
Typical teenage exchange on the phone this morning when friend rang Andrew. So they spent the day happily driving tractors and distributing the scents of spring around the valley.

10 April. Just one week after we couldn't get out of the valley due to deep snow, the thermometer is showing the high twenties, we're eating meals outside on the balcony (photo, far left: click for enlargement) and Tune is now ready for summer (see picture, below: click for answer). Lamb also enjoying the sunshine (photo, immediate left: click for enlargement).

12 April. Andrew's lamb has got company. Katie's got one too. How are we going to be able to tell them apart, I wonder? (Photo, left: click to enlarge).

Do you want to know a secret? (Amazing what you can find out on this web page). Norway has a top-secret defence establishment, hidden in a forest near Oslo. No-one is allowed even to know that it exists, let alone where it is. And now you know. Alternatively, as the NRK news points out today, you can look in the phone book, where it's listed, together with its address and phone number. And if you're still curious, boxes of documents about it it are on open access at the Norwegian public records office, including detailed technical drawings of the place, receipts for its equipment, staff lists and so on. A government spokesman said: "oh dear".

14 April. A whole week of wonderful, warm sunshine, sitting outside for meals and playing by the river. (Not in it, note; we've not completely lost it yet).

15 April. The disgrace of the Tooth Fairy. After two consecutive nights of amnesia, the Tooth Fairy has been sacked. Katie delivered the crushing verdict in the morning. Applications for the post will be considered, but for some reason there doesn't seem to be a queue. Perhaps the volcanic ash from Iceland has grounded all potential tooth-fairy applicants?

17 April. The teenage party. We've got a collection of a dozen 14/15-year-olds in our lounge (Tracy and Tim exiled upstairs), watching some film or other and eating popcorn. They've all made their own way here, so there's a neat line of tractors outside the front door.

20 April. Happy birthday, Matt!

Just at the moment (after tea) all the boys in the valley seem to be gathered round Andrew's tractor (trying to get it to go). Or at least they were a second ago: they've just all gone past in another tractor (looks like one of those world-record attempts for how many people can you fit in a tractor cab). (Click photo to see pictures).

Later the same evening. If the Met Office warns of a cloud of ash and smoke drifting across the sea, don't worry - it's not another Icelandic volcano. It's just Andrew's tractor. Friends are now telling him how valuable scrap metal is. The "trying to get it to go" project was not a great success.

Body painting. All day, local farmers have been muck spreading on local fields. This evening Tracy and Tim, together with the two dogs, walked down to the post box at the bottom of the drive to collect the post. As we returned, Tune tried to convice us that her now green-and-cream coat was this year's spring fashion, but to her great disappointment she was taken straight into the shower when we got home. She's such a hydrophobic dog, too!

27 April. It's been a slow news-week. We've not written anything because there's not been anything to write. But today is a little celebration - one year to the day since we signed the contract on our house and committed ourselves to coming here. It's been quite a year.

We're still doing things with the house. The flat in the cellar is next on the list, but the current project is the office (to see pictures, click the small picture, right).

29 April. On the way to swimming this evening we stopped off for a couple of minutes to look at a waterfall (click the small picture, far left) and climb on the rocks. I did warn you it's been a slow news week!

The only things that have been happening in Norway (apart fom the usual avalanches) have been to do with animals. Three polar bears wandering around in Longyearbyen (Norway's most northerly town) mean that people are nervous about opening tins of sardines in public places. I wrote in those stories about the time Matt and I visited Longyearbyen a few years ago (picture, left) and borrowed a friend's snowscooter to drive over the glacier. As part of that trip we visited the school and were puzzled about why, in a peaceful and law-abiding little town, there had to be a huge, gated chain fence all around the perimiter. "It's to stop the children from being eaten by polar bears at playtime". Closer to home, just north of here, a woman complained that she was chased fifteen times round a bus stop by a particularly cross goat. Hopefully they weren't waiting for the same bus.

Problems of goats and polar bears on the public highway reminds me of a story I read in The Times in 1835. No - despite what the children say - I'm not that old: this was while looking through the paper years ago to look for the obituary of a certain composer. The newspaper reported an accident on Broomfield Hill in central London, in which a Mr Crosse had an unexpected encounter with "an Ox Rushing at him and knocking him down and thrusting his Horns into his Body but Happily without Damage". Who, I wondered at the time, was undamaged - the ox or the road? I still wonder.

Otherwise, the news has been dominated - would you believe - by Gordon Brown's microphone gaffe, which led the newspaper to remind us of the time a couple of years ago when the Nowegian Prime Minister admitted at a press conference to having "a little bit of doubt" about some policy or other. A female cabinet minister turned to a colleague and remarked: "a little bit of doubt, indeed. That's like being a little bit pregnant". Her microphone was also on at the time and her aside has been remembered long after the story (whatever it was) was forgotten.

1 May. An hour's meander in the car this morning. Drove to the village to buy some skirting boards for the office, completely forgetting that 1 May is a bank holiday in Norway. Ah well.

Ever-helpful Norwegian DIY materials include health warnings (picture, right)

2 May. Beautiful, hot day. Progress report on the lambs, which are presently skipping around the lawn (Click photo, left, for more details).

3 May. Crime in the city. I'm sorry to have to report that criminal behaviour has now arrived even as close as our nearest town - Egersund, only an hour's drive away. A report in yesterday's regional newspaper (see the report by clicking here) reads:

Kicked lamposts.
Written by Egil Mong Monday 3 May
A police foot patrol discovered early Sunday morning at 1.45 two young men who were walking through the centre of Egersund and who had kicked several lamp posts.
They did no direct damage, but the police stopped the two to warn them.

Shocking behaviour. They'll be running sticks along the iron railings next. Good to know we have the police to protect us. But it couldn't happen here in Ørsdalen. Oh no - we don't have lamp posts here.

5 May. There's a well-known Norwegian hymn that refers to "no lauvast det i li" - "the hillsides are turning green". And they are. Each day the whole mountainside turns one shade brighter (photo, right - click for enlargement).

8 May. Cleaning the house. Today's job. Of course, in Norway the term has an entirely different meaning. Nothing to do with dusting and vacuuming (as good Norwegians, the house is kept spotless inside anyway - ha!) - the annual clean is outside. All the outer walls are washed (house-washing fluid is on special offer at the moment) to get rid of any grime or algi. This year we'll be re-painting all the walls. We've just finished cleaning and re-varnishing all the timber on the balconies. They look great.

Feels like summer. Today and yesterday have been real sunbathing weather, if we'd been able to take the time out to enjoy it. But here (click "play" on the picture, left - links to YouTube) is a short film showing a 360-degree view from upstairs in the house (the place the daily webcam picture is taken from). The bells in the beginning are sheep, the background noise is the river, the smoking mountain is not volcanic - it's just farmers burning last year's heather - and the wind is nothing like as strong as it sounds (the camera is amazingly sensitive!). Fine view of the guttering at the end, too - sorry!

12 May. Very confusing. Yesterday it was snowing for all it was worth. Today the kids broke up for half term, so this afternoon I took the pieces of Katie down to the river at the bottom of the garden. The sun has been shining from a clear sky all day. It's hot. Hot enough to lie on the beach by the river (the same beach that's on the photos on the "Valley" page) and soak in what felt like summer sun while Katie played by the water. Bliss. Did another of those 360-degree films (click "play" on the picture, right - links to YouTube) but it really doesn't do it justice.

14 May. "Just fasten this fence post to this rock, will you?"
Unfortunately it was difficult to find a drill just the right size.
"Get the net!"
The first of this year's snakes made the journey down to the other side of the river.
"Dad! Can you get the football out of the brambles?"
"Could you just take this bucket and empty the contents into the next field?"
"The lamb's gone off with your drill bit in its mouth!"
"The other lamb's eating the insulation of the extension lead".
Three hours later the fence post is still not in place and we've stopped for the evening.
Another day of fun tomorrow.

15 May. How to move a ladder. Thomas Andrew and Tim provided the entertainment in Ørsdalen today. Despite the heat (it's been a hot, sunny day) we decided to make a start on painting the house. For this we needed the long, wooden ladder from the old village school. It's much too long to fit in the car and we don't have a roof rack, so we just put one end in the back of the car and Andrew drove home (like you do), very slowly, with Tim jogging along behind carrying the other end of the ladder. This would have been fine except that during the three-quarters of a mile from the old school to the bottom of our drive no less than two cars wanted to pass us (normally we wouldn't see two cars in a whole day). The first contained four youngsters off for a day's hiking in the hills or something. We could see that they were greatly enjoying the sight, and they made some happy comment or other about "life in Ørsdalen" as they finally passed us when we reached a passing point. The other was a neighbour, so within quarter of an hour or so all the rest of the valley knew about our house-painting project.

Baaeh. Blurb. That was the black lamb diving into the pot of white house paint and being pulled out by the tail. It's now a dalmation lamb.

Andrew and his friend Kjell Arne have spent the afternoon with a tractor digging rocks out of the lawn. There are a lot of them and with an average weight of a few tons a tractor was definately needed. The lawn now looks like the set of some sci-fi thriller about the attack of the mutant moles.

Evening has now set in and it's a weary bunch of us that is giving out the occasional groan as we try to move a paint-brush-exhausted hand or a heavy-rock-on-toe'd foot. Satisfying, though.

Happy 17 May! Happy what? 17 May is Norway's national day and is celebrated very comprehensively. Thomas Andrew spent the day on a boat, but Tracy, Tim and Katie followed the more conventional 17th May programme in Vikeså. Click the small picture (left) to see what on earth Katie is doing carrying a small elf in a milk churn and what else we've done today.

The sudden transition to summer weather has been causing avalanches and landslides all over Norway. This (photo, right) is the main railway line to the North - not many trains running today! (Yes, that really is the track, running across the top of the picture).

18 May Whilst here it's a lovely summer's day (looking out from the lounge onto the balcony, above right - click for enlargement), in other parts of Norway there are still floods, landslides and catastrophes as the snow melts. In one of the lesser problems (photo, above left) someone has discovered their sauna floating away and has tied it to their tractor. Hope no-one was in it at the time: at least they'll not be needing to put water on the coals ...
Interesting view of a bridge (see film clip, above middle).

Train journey. All those years ago, when we first came to Norway and had lived a couple of months on our amazing and isolated island, we took a boat to Bodø and bought ourselves a television. The first programme we watched was a silent Swedish film about the life history of a wash basin, and that proved to be one of the more dynamic programmes. There was only one channel and it was lovely. They had DIY programmes where everything fell apart (it was meant to be serious) and cameramen kept tripping over each other. The continuity announcer (a man with a beard and a knitted jumper) always seemed to have woken up suddenly and to be absolutely astonished to find himself on air as he fumbled for the TV times to work out what programme was on next. Nowadays there are several channels and it's all almost professional. A few weeks ago the main national channel (NRK) showed a programme about a train journey. In fact, it was the train journey from Bergen to Oslo. They just put a camera on the front of the train and filmed the journey all the way. All seven hours of it. The programme was watched by an incredible 1.3 million viewers - over a quarter of Norway's population - though only 177000 saw the whole thing from beginning to end. One 79-year-old wrote in to complain that he was injured when the train pulled in to Oslo station. He got up to collect his luggage and fell over his fireplace. Now they're planning on a new film of the Nordland line - the 10-hour journey from Trondheim to Bodø. Unfortunately this journey goes over that bit of line that's currently dangling in mid air (picture below) so it won't be filmed this week. All aboard!

19 May Great celebration today. Andrew returned from the dentist, brace-less for the first time in two-and-a-half years or so. He's now trying to catch up on lost time eating chewy things.

22 May. After several days in succession we're still enjoying hot summer temperatures - actually looking for shade! This (photo, left) is our outside thermometer today (admittedly in the sun!) (35° C = 95° F).
("Much too nice to be in on a day like this", right)

Saturday pizza with friends on the balcony (click photo, left, for picture sequence) They're re-surfacing the "main" road to Vikeså - the road that we meet after the twenty-minute drive on our lane. Because the road is narrow (one car's width) this means that they simply close it, without warning, for an hour at a time while they re-surface a section. I arrived today just as the road had closed. A few cars pulled up behind. Were people stressed about it? No, of course not. Some people wandered down to the river (it was a bit cold for swimming), but others produced picnic baskets and coffee flasks (which with typical Norwegian generosity they shared with anyone who wasn't so equipped), and soon there was a fair roadside buffet, with rolls and a good variety of toppings. Quite a social event. After an hour the road was re-opened and we all piled back into our cars and drove off. (click photo, right, for picture sequence).

31 May They've started being terribly fussy these days about passport photos. You have to be looking straight at the camera, have a plain background, no shadow, no part of your face should be concealed by anything, and so on. We're trying (photo, right).